Trinian by Elizabeth Russell

Author:Elizabeth Russell [Russell, Elizabeth]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Independent
Published: 2019-07-10T22:00:00+00:00

59

And Not Tear Apart

Garrity was neither dead nor incapacitated, for his wounds were not deep. Adlena wrapped up his chest with strips of Merciec’s cloak, which he no longer needed, and Garrity insisted he was well enough to travel. They could not bury Merciec – the ground was far too hard and rocky, and yet with no stones that could be collected for a cairn. Cila and Viol laid him out as best they could, spread his blanket over him, and laid his weapons at his feet. All except for his short-sword, which Asbult took up and handed to Lavendier without a word. Then they sadly set out, climbing over the giant, fleshy tentacles of the beast, heading for what they hoped were greener places ahead.

While coveted when withheld, freedom when gained is a weighty responsibility. While living, Lavendier feared Merciec as her arbiter, at the same time as she leaned upon him as her security. Now that he was gone, she felt lost and frightened. He had spoken the truth when he said she still cared more for herself than for him: he had become a part of her and now a part of her had died. Without him, her moral compass was gone, and she was left with a choice: either to develop that compass within her, or else to succumb to its deprivation. But while she longed to honor his memory, Lavendier had never practiced self-discipline or self-motivation; for this reason, and it alone, she failed to assume responsibility for herself.

* * *

Passion had been eagerly watching for just such an opportunity with the eldest princess, knowing that the weak girl would surely return to her old ways when removed from her guardian’s good influence. Now, the goddess, eager to play a part in Power’s schemes, began to air out old thoughts from the princess’s mind, reviving familiar thought patterns, and reawakening memories of luxury and pleasure.

“Wouldn’t it be nice to have a comfortable bed once again? To be beautiful and admired? No one admires me now, in these draggled rags. No one wants to see me. I could disappear in the undergrowth and no one would notice.”

Her eyes found Garrity, where he tramped in the center of the group, and her desire found him as pleasing as she had in the palace. Ah, the pleasure of being held by a man like that; of being safe, secure, and wanted; of being admired, comforted, and complimented.

She pressed ahead until she walked beside him, then stumbled and nearly fell against his strong arm, but he only side-stepped her, protecting the wound at his side and letting her fumble about clumsily.

She glared at him, but he made no eye contact and pressed on with the others. Everyone was tired, everyone was unsure of their footing, and no one stopped to ask if she was alright.

“Did they ask if I can go on? Do they care for my safety? I was sent away from Drian like a pesky child, and I am ignored here like I am less than a gnat! I’ll show them.

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